It has been brought to my attention that you have recently changed address at extremely short notice, creating significant inconvenience. Further, I understand that this involves someone of the opposite gender. Having never had the opportunity of meeting said individual, it has come as something of a suprise to learn that she is the cause of the relocation.
As such, I (and my spouse) have a number of very important questions:
- We understand she goes by the name of Lui - what is her full name?
- How tall is Lui?
- Educational background?
- Please describe Lui's cooking ability?
- Does she have any special interests or hobbies?
- Does Lui play sports of any kind?
- When did you meet, and how?
- When was your first kiss, if any?
- When can we expect that you will introduce us to her?
- Is there any other relevant information that we could reasonably expect you to share, and if so please provide details?
We appreciate your earliest attention, and remain your humble relatives.
Kind Regards,
Andrew & Sonia
PS: We understand that there is a general consensus of opinion that what Paul did should not be considered to set a precedent.
This is as much information as we were able to extract. We do not vouch for the truthfulness or reliability of her responses as there is a measure of doubt as to her sanity, as exhibited by the fact that she appears to like Jonathan.
ReplyDelete1. Lui Montino
2. 5'5"
3. Bachelor of Management Information Systems
4. We have no experience of this to report. She does however eat all sorts of odd things like chicken feet.
5. Beating up Jonathan.
6. Black belt in No can do. Basketball. Badminton.
7. 2007, through a friend.
8. Which part of the body?
9. When you come to visit in NZ
10. Trying to escape criminal prosecution in the Philippines.
We will attempt to learn more about the subject, and report periodically.
Your equally humble relative,
Sharon